AA Gifts & Baskets Idea & Advice Blog

It’s a tradition that the Groom gives you a gift at some time during the rehearsal dinner. The gift is a thank-you for standing up with him at the wedding. Common gifts include money clips, wrist or pocket watches, fountain pens, tickets to a sporting event, lighters, key chains, cigar cutters, cigars, beer steins, or gift certificates to a sporting goods store or restaurant. It’s nice when these gifts are engraved with the date of the wedding and your initials. The gift then becomes a nice memory of the event in later years. (The engraving also ensures that you’ll keep it because it’ll be harder to “re-gift” the next time you’re in a jam. We’ll get into that later.)

Gift Recommendations

The Best Man or Groomsmen don’t customarily give the Groom a gift at the rehearsal dinner. Your wedding gift is your gift to the happy couple. If the surveys are any indication, you probably spent more than you thought you would at the bachelor party, so there’s no real need to add another gift to your list.

Wedding etiquette also offers a lay-away plan. Etiquette dictates that you have up to one year from the date of the wedding to give your wedding gift without looking like a heel. Personally, the one-year rule never worked for me. I always ended up waiting nine months, and then I had no idea if I sent the couple anything. It’s also embarrassing to have to ask the couple if you sent a gift because they probably don’t know or care by that point. On one occasion, I mailed two or three wedding gifts at the same time after many months of torture, and within two weeks I learned that two out of three were delivered to old addresses and/ or lost by the post office. My advice is to bring it with you and drop it off at the wedding.

Cash

If you give cash as a wedding gift, I am truly proud of you. As a former Groom, there’s nothing like it because you can do whatever you want with it-no strings attached and no waiting in line at the returns aisle.

Unfortunately, most people don’t feel comfortable giving cash because, let’s face it, if you want to spend less than $100 bucks, you can’t really give cash.You have to get a gift that looks like it might be worth a hundred. You can also get them a few gifts so it’ll definitely look like you went all out and hit the $100 mark.

If you’re over seventy years old you may want to pull the U.S. Savings Bond scam. (Do senior citizens actually think anyone keeps the bond for the hundred years it takes to reach the face value?) If you ever get one of these, run down to your local bank, cash it, and go get yourself a new CD, or maybe two if you’re lucky.

It was snowing. The snow came down in white sheets that went yellow in the street lights. At the end of the boulevard there was a monument to the wall. It was a great block of plain cement. On one side the back end of a big American car from the 1950s stood out in the circle of the street lights. There was a similar tail end coming out on the other side. The cars were covered with snow.

We walked down the boulevard. At one end there was the ruined church and the new church stood next to it. They left it, she said, from the war. She didn’t say, which war, because it was clear and everywhere you went the war was there even if no one spoke abut it.

At the train depot you looked at the names of the stations and that was the war as well but no one spoke about it and it was as if you were in a crowded elevator but no one said anything.

Every day the news was about the wall. There were crowds at the wall and people coming and going, but no one knew what was happening.

I waited with her and she became impatient. We went for a drive. There is no speed limit on the freeways and she drove very fast. She drove fast but other cars went by us in a humming-blur. You heard the hum, like a massive, bloated wasp, angry and determined was coming at you, and then there was the elongated blur of a car going by you.

We are Germans, she said, smiling with wry humor, we don’t know what to do, so we try to do everything perfectly.

We walked in the woods. It was bitterly cold. The ground was frozen. We walked down to a lake and the water was very still and sharply blue. We went to a restaurant that looked over the lake. We drank hot chocolate and spoke about nothing in particular. The waiters were gathering around the television behind the bar.

The next day she was up early, watching the news. She turned from station to station. Then she said, she couldn’t wait any longer and that we should go see it for ourselves.

There were people everywhere and barricades and television crews. On top of the wall, a lone East German guard stood, forlornly, looking at everyone. He was wearing a forest green winter jumpsuit. In his hands he held an automatic rifle. He looked confused.

We walked down the length of the wall. She translated the graffiti. Far down the wall, away from the crowd, we passed two young boys. They had a small pick and they were taking turns hitting the wall. She spoke to them. They laughed and the one with the pick handed it to her and she thanked them.

She hit the wall and the metal echoed in the crisp winter air. She hammered out two pieces of the wall. She smiled and handed the pick back to the boys.

Here, she said, this is for you.

She handed me a piece of the wall.

A gift, she said, from history, to you. 

My husband has always been a bit of a prankster, especially when he was younger. I hear many stories from his family about the time he was dared by his older brother to set light to a full 44-gallon drum of Diesel. Or the time he sat up all night and waited for someone to go to the toilet in the dark, his mother half asleep was given the shock of her life when he jumped out of the shadows at 2am and yelled ‘rah’. My husband was always very mischievous and well known for doing naughty little things. One year at Christmas time he played a prank on his five siblings, by bringing out a bag of 20c lollies each and wishing them all a merry Christmas. Later on when they were all upset that he hadn’t got them a Christmas present he brought them all real presents out.

It is this spontaneity and fun approach to life that has helped make a marriage of 11 years enjoyable, every minute of it. I particularly like to tell the story of how he proposed to me on our engagement.

At that time in my life I was having a lot of difficulty, as my father was dying from an incurable form of cancer. I had taken my father and mother to visit his brother, who he had not seen for many years. It was a very long trip and I had to leave my boyfriend (husband) behind for 4 weeks to do the trip, which was over 1,000 miles long. I missed him terribly while I was gone and looked forward to talking to him every night on the phone.

Just before I was due home my boyfriend told me that he had bought me a gift, and he would give it to me when I got home from my trip. I couldn’t wait to get home to see what it was….

When I got home I was overjoyed to see him, and later on that night he told me that he had some bad news. The gift that he was going to buy, which was a beautiful golden locket with a sapphire stone in it, had been mistakenly sold. The sales girl was supposed to be keeping it for him, he apologized and told me that he didn’t have any gift after all. I told him not to worry, I was just glad to be back home and able to spend time with him again.

Weeks passed and we drove up to my parents farm to see them, while we were there, my boyfriend pulled me aside and told me that he had an early birthday present for me. It was about 2 weeks early, he produced a white paper bag from his pocket, I laughed at him and said “what a 20c bag of lollies?” He just smiled and handed me that bag of lollies, inside was a beautiful diamond ring, I looked at it and was breathless, it was so beautiful. “You know what that is don’t you?” he asked putting the ring on my finger, “of course I do” I gushed. I enjoy telling the story of how my husband proposed to me, it was very romantic and spontaneous, the funny thing was he had that ring ever since I had got back from my trip. But couldn’t get up the courage to give it to me, until he come up with the idea of giving me a 20c bag of lollies.